CensorWear Chronicles, Chap 10:
Competition

By: The Essayist | 31Dec2000

For months now, AbsoSafe has asked how much your child's safety is worth and how safe are your streets. Here at WholeWorld Unlimited, we've been asking ourselves... In the real world, is the only obscenity visual? "Why that &*%#!, ^~$*& little *#@!% ! !" We didn't think so either. That's why we've developed the WholeWorld ® Censoring Helmet. If you rely on AbsoSafe, your family may be spared objectionable scenes that crop up in any environment. But you and your family will still hear the cursing and dirty words that are - unfortunately - all around us. With the WholeWorld system, you'll be spared the visual AND audible obscenity that is present in nearly every real world encounter with other people. WholeWorld filters everything, not just scenery. Put your family in WholeWorld Helmets and: nobody will ever be able to 'cuss you out' at work. your children may never even learn naughty words. you and your spouse will never have to complain about abusive language. the Whole World will become a brighter and happier place - visually and audibly. WholeWorld provides all the protection that AbsoSafe does. (After all, we lease AbsoSafe's CleanLens database capacity; why reinvent the wheel?), but WholeWorld goes even farther. The built-in SafetySpeech filtering system ensures that WholeWorld Censoring Helmets censor the entire environment. What's more, our system is endorsed and used by the Nuclear Family Research Council, the American Family Foundation, Doctor Gerry Forwell and Patsy Robertsen. AbsoSafe is not. And that's not all! With a computer joystick (available at any computer store) and the optional VG upgrade, your child's WholeWorld Censoring Helmet can be transformed into a virtual playground. All the popular computer arcade games have been ported to the WholeWorld system. Sure, you'll pay more for the WholeWorld system, but really, how much is it worth to you? The suggested retail price for a WholeWorld Helmet: $79.95!. But if you act now, we are offering a family discount! If you buy three or more, the price of each helmet is ONLY $49.95! - and that includes VG upgrades!! Get the WholeWorld ® Censoring Helmet for a Whole World of safety and reassurance.