Earth Threatened, Wen Ho Lee Released

By: The Sceptic | 13September2000

Sixty-year old Dr. Wen Ho Lee, held in solitary confinement since his arrest in December of 1999, appears to be on his way out of prison. Dr. Lee was originally charged with 59 counts of downloading restricted material about nuclear weapons -- the so called "crown jewels" of the US nuclear weapons program -- to an unsecured computer at Los Alamos National Laboratory. Had he been found guilty, he could have faced life in prison. However, the government's case against Lee has undergone an astonishing turnabout -- especially during the past few days. The public has become well acquainted with weaknesses in the government's case against Wen Ho Lee: The FBI's conduct in cases such as Lee's is a matter of public record. They have openly admitted that they practice routine racial profiling. FBI agents threatened Dr Lee with execution if he didn't cooperate. The prosecution and Energy Secretary Bill Richardson have acted as though Dr. Lee was already a convicted spy, though he has never been formally charged with espionage. Dr. Lee has been denied phone calls, put in solitary confinement and has been restricted access to family and defense counsel. The lead FBI investigator has admitted that he misled the court with false information about Dr. Lee's actions. Of course, there are also the apparent comparisons between Dr. Lee's offenses and the national security breaches committed by former Central Intelligence Agency director, Dr. John Deutsch. As in Lee's case, Deutsch deleted classified information from his computer upon learning that he was under investigation. However, in the Deutsch case, investigators found only 17,000 pages of top-secret files related to government's most sensitive covert operations in his unsecured computer, as opposed to the undefined 'massive' amount of nuclear secrets which Lee downloaded (although admittedly, it wasn't actually classified as secret until after Lee had downloaded it). In spite of a few surface similarities, that fiendish mad scientist Wen Ho Lee is not at all similar to the loyal and true public servant John Deutsch. Deutsch isn't of Chinese ancestry, but we all know that Lee is as oriental as Chairman Mao himself. Born in Taiwan, the wicked Dr. Lee must be guilty -- if not of these crimes, than of even worse atrocities he has cleverly hidden. So, why has the prosecution suddenly decided to release him with time served -- no more prison, no fine -- in exchange for pleading guilty to on charge of felony inscrutability and one charge of second degree epicanthus, a mere misdemeanor? We only ask because we believe we have the answer. This reporter has received a copy of an email from one of our trusted associates within the depths of our own government. We present it to you here: From: REDACTED To: unquiet@pobox.com Subject: [Fwd: Wen Ho Lee] -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Wen Ho Lee Date: Tue, 05 Sep 2000 04:25:01 -0600 From: evil-orientals@supervillains.com To: feds@us.gov Dear US Gov't and its minions: During our last business meeting, the Federation of Evil Oriental Supervillains voted unanimously to invite nuclear scientist Wen Ho Lee to join us. We feel that he has precisely the skills we need to aid us in our quest to dominate the universe and bring humankind to its groveling knees. Unfortunately, Dr. Lee may have a problem accepting our invitation since you worthless insects and your justice system are currently holding him against his will. Must we once again remind you that our Nefarious Pitchblende-Powered Annihilation Ray (tm) is still fully operational, and aimed at your planet from our supersecret base on a cold Jovian moon? We would appreciate any reconsideration on your part concerning the fate of Wen Ho Lee and (need we say it?) the very fate of the Earth and its vile inhabitants. Sincerely, Dr. Fu Manchu, Ming the Merciless, Wo Fat -Steering Committee, Federation of Evil Oriental Supervillains Has the government failed to mention this threat from the arch-nemeses of Nayland Smith, Flash Gordon and Steve McGarrett in order to avert panic? Will releasing the immoral Dr. Lee to join those slanty-eyed villains increase the strength of the dark forces that plague humanity? Is ex-CIA director John Deutsch also the mysterious Professor Bloato, the Caped Occidental of the Good-Ol' Boy League of America? If so, can he save humanity in time? Tune in next time for another exciting episode...

Dr. Wen Ho Lee             Dr. Fu Manchu Ming the Merciless Wo Fat